What? Why?

I'd like to start this post with a statement, a statement that incidentally sums up how I'm feeling right now, about this project and in general: I'm really fucking excited!!

To bring everyone up to speed, here's a quick rundown on the 'what'.
A little over three years ago, I started writing a story. It was meant to be a one-shot, for a contest, held by a writer I admired a lot (and that hasn't changed to this day). With 10.000 words restriction, I didn't have much wriggle room around the sex, so I did my best to quickly establish the characters - who they are, where they came from, and what got them together in that room, that very day - so I could do justice to the first ever MMF threesome I've ever written.

Considering those restrictions, and the fact that it was the first explicit kinky smut I wrote for an audience that had shunned me for writing sex at all at one time, I think I did a decently good job.

The story that developed from that one-shot is still what I consider my first 'real' story - plotted from start to finished, and executed in a timely fashion. Others, among them the 2nd part, have followed, but HBR will always have a very special place in my heart.

For two and a half years I've stuck with these characters, I've lived and breathed their emotions, conflicts, doubts, and triumphs, and sending them off into the endless sunset of completed works has been a wonderful, if somewhat sad, moment.

Of course, there's always been the possibility of writing outtakes (I promised. People asked. Nothing happened. I'm still sorry about that!), but they've been through so much, I guess I wanted to let them rest.

Other stories followed, but whenever I thought back to the beginning - and the middle - or the end, I got sentimental. And just a little sad that, in many ways, I always felt like I hadn't written the story to its full potential. I don't know what started that, but I couldn't shut it off after someone asked me what I would have done differently.

What ifs, aren't those the worse haunts?

People have repeatedly asked me if I was going to publish and of my fanfics. The answer has always been a (nice, but still) no. Why? Because part of the characters and story is another person's property, and I don't steal.

But...

Does it still feel like stealing if I try to purge the story of any influence of the original, and see if what comes out at the other end is completely my creation?

In the end, a hateful review is to blame for me making the jump.
And it wasn't even left for HBR or ABD.

For the longest time, I thought that TEMC was a lot more suited for rework than my kinky epic. For one thing, it's shorter. For another, using negative rather than positive attributes of the original characters to create mine made them feel less, well, like fanfic characters to me. It was easier to call them 'my own.'
Then came that review, which I replied to only in my head, but in many scathing, perfectly phrased arguments. Which got me thinking. And thinking.

Just changing some minor details, and maybe re-arranging a couple of things, wouldn't do it for that I had in mind. Call it standards, or being a perfectionist, but if I was going to tackle this behemoth to wrestle it into novel shape, I might as well do the best job I could - and that means a real re-write, not a copy/paste job with a few changed words in the middle.

Welcome to my journey.

p.s. I'm talking entirely about myself, and my story. In no way do I even imply that anyone who went a different way didn't do justice to their work, or stole someone else's property, or is a despicable loser. Unless we're talking about a story where, character names and descriptions included, there are less than 12% difference between the fanfic, and the novel.